Studi Deskriptif tentang Gambaran Intimasi pada Pasangan Suami Istri Pelaku BDSM di Komunitas IBS

Hanifah Putri Sholihah, Indri Utami Sumaryanti

Abstract


Abstract : Humans have a basic desire to be accepted, appreciated and wanted by others, in short humans wants to love and be loved by the others. The desire to have intimacy is considered as the basic human desire and can explain the behavior of individuals in relationship (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Intimacy sometimes influenced by emotional and sexual relationship conditioned by one or both parties. One of the variation and the dynamic of sex that became popular was BDSM. BDSM is an acronym of B which means Bondage, D which means Discipline and also Domination, S which means Submission and also Sadism, and M which means Masochism. BDSM is a sexual practice that has the character of: power exchange where there are inequalities in degree of relationship, suppression, physical restraint and exploration around the pain. The aim of this study was to find the intimacy of the BDSM perpetrators in the IBS community and to see if intimacy in relationships can arise in couples who practice BDSM in their relationships. This study uses descriptive study, and the sample in this study using snowball sampling technique. It is known that there is a picture of intimacy of relationship owned by BDSM partner and partner in IBS community that is high of Knowledge, high of Caring, High of Interdependence, High Mutualitu, High of Trust and High of Commitment (K↑C↑I↑MTC↑).

Keywords: Intimacy, BDSM, Marriage, Couples

Abstrak: Manusia mempunyai keinginan dasar untuk dapat diterima, diapresiasi dan diperhatikan oleh orang lain, singkatnya manusia adalah makhluk yang ingin mencintai dan dicintai. Keinginan untuk memiliki keintiman dianggap sebagai keinginan dasar manusia dan bisa menjelaskan tingkah laku individu dalam hubungan (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Intimasi kadang dipengaruhi oleh pengalaman dalam hubungan mereka dari sisi emosi dan seksual yang dikondisikan oleh salah satu atau kedua pihak. Salah satu variasi dan dinamik seksual yang mulai popular adalah fenomena BDSM. BDSM merupakan akronim dari B yang berarti Bondage, D yang berarti Discipline dan juga Domination, S yang berarti Submission dan juga Sadism, dan M yang berarti Masochism.  BDSM merupakan praktek seksual yang memiliki karakter berupa: power exchange dimana terdapat ketidaksetaraan derajat dalam hubungan, suppression, pengekangan fisik dan eksplorasi seputar rasa sakit. Tujuan dari penelitian ini untuk mengetahui gambaran intimate relationship pada pasangan suami istri pelaku BDSM di Komunitas IBS dan untuk melihat apakah keintiman dalam hubungan dapat muncul pada pasangan yang mempraktekan BDSM dalam hubungannya. Penelitian ini menggunakan studi deskriptif, dan sampel dalam penelitian ini menggunakan  teknik snowball sampling. Diketahui terdapat gambaran intimasi hubungan yang dimiliki oleh pasangan suami istri pelaku BDSM di komunitas IBS yaitu tipe Knowldege tinggi, Caring tinggi, Interdependence tinggi, Mutuality tinggi, Trust tinggi, Commitment tinggi (K↑C↑I↑MTC↑).

Kata Kunci: Intimasi, BDSM, Perkawinan, Pasangan Suami Istri


Keywords


Intimasi, BDSM, Perkawinan, Pasangan Suami Istri

Full Text:

PDF

References


Agnew, C. R., Van Lange, P. M., Rusbult, C. E., & Langston, C. A. (1998). Cognitive Interdependec: Commitmment and the mental representation of close relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74.

APA, A. P. (2013). DSM-5. Arlington: American Psychiatric Association.

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin.

Brame, W., & Jacob, J. (1995). Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. New York: Villard books.

Brehm, S. S., Miller, R. S., Perlman, D., & Campbell, S. M. (2002). Intimate Relationship. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Connolly, P. H. (2008). Psychological Functioning of Bondage/Domination/Sado-Masochism (BDSM) Practitioners. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality.

Dandurand, C., & Lafontaine, M. (2013). Intimacy and couple satisfaction: The moderating role of romantic attachment. International Journal of Psychological Studies, 74-90.

Duvall, E., & Miller, C. M. (1985). Marriage and Family Development 6th ed. New York: Harper & Row Publisher.

Goldman, R. (2011, february 14). love hurts: sadomasochism's danger. Retrieved from abc news online: http://abcnews.go.com/health/story?id=4285958&page=1

Greeff, A. P., & Malherbe, H. L. (2001). Intimacy and marital satisfaction in spouses. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 247-257.

Grinberg, E. (2012, Juli 13). Explaining 'Fifty Shades' wild success. Retrieved from cnn.com: http://edition.cnn.com/2012/07/13/living/fifty-shades-buzz-50-shades-success/

Hendrik, S., & Hendrik, C. (1992). Liking, Loving and Relating. California: Books/Cole Publishing Company Pacific Grove.

Kingsbury , N. M., & Minda, R. B. (1988). An analysis of three expected intimate relationship states: Commitment, maintenance, and termination. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 405-422.

Levinger, G., & Snoek, J. D. (1972). Attraction in Relationships: A new look at interpersonal attraction. Morristown: NJ: General Learning Press.

Lindemann, D. (2011). BDSM as therapy?

Millington, R. (2015, februari 24). Fifty Shades of Grey poses a threat to online BDSM communities. Retrieved from theguardian.com: https://www.theguardian.com/media-network/2015/feb/24/fifty-shades-of-grey-threat-bdsm-communities

Noor, H. (2009). Psikometri. Aplikasi Dalam Penyusunan Instrumen Pengukuran Perilaku. Bandung: Jauhar Mandiri.

Olson, D. H., & Hamilton, L. M. (1983). Families: What Make Them Work. Beverly Hills: Sage Publication.

Sandnabba, N., Santtila, P., & N, N. (1999). sexual behavior and social adaptation among sadomasochistically-oriented males. the journal of sex Research.

Sarason, B. R., Sarason, I. G., & Gurung R, A. R. (2001). Close personal relationships and health outcomes: A key to the role of social support. New York: Wiley.

Schaefer, M. T., & Olson, D. H. (1981). Assessing intimacy: The PAIR inventory.,. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 47-60.

Taormino, T. (2012). The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and Erotic Edge. New York: Cleis Press.

Yoo, H. (2013). Couple Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction A Comparison Study between Clinical and Community Couples. USA: The Ohio State University.

Yost, M. R., & Hunter, L. E. (2012). BDSM practitioners’ understandings of their initial attraction to BDSM sexuality: essentialist and constructionist narratives. psychology & sexuality, 9-11.

Zanin, a. (2009, 04 08). Retrieved from fetlife.com: https://web.archive.org/web/20120630172329/http://www.montrealmirror.com/2008/090408/news1.html




DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.29313/.v0i0.9439

Flag Counter